Nishtha Jolly: I was raised in Delhi and moved here at the age of 14; I did my schooling here and have worked with nonprofits for the last 20 years. During that time, I felt that especially in the Bay Area, the South Asian population is increasing and the issues here are unique. I realized the way I could help was by going to Law School. After studying law, I worked in an agency where domestic violence victims and survivors were helped. I realized while working there that the domestic violence issue is really big and somehow unique in our culture. We are family-oriented and do not talk about domestic violence outside of our family. I also realized that lot of families were having this problem and that people were suffering in silence. So, I decided to open a practice to help domestic violence victims. That’s what I do now. My practice is survivor centered; I do not follow general family law. I do not take divorce cases but work with restraining order cases. If someone is facing domestic violence and needs a restraining order, I will help them. And I realized that in our population, there is a big need for immigration advice especially in those homes where there is domestic violence. So, I help those folks with immigration if they are facing domestic violence.

NJ: Before working with any attorney, it is important to have trust and rapport where we can talk freely especially in domestic violence cases as we hesitate to talk about these things generally. So, it’s important to hire an attorney who is culturally competent and who knows and understands our culture. The attorney does not necessarily have to be Indian but its important that they are culturally competent and are aware of Indian culture. It’s also important for the clients to know what they are signing in the agreement. For my clients, for example, my agreement is 2 ½ pages and I go through each line with my clients. I explain, line by line, what I will be doing (or not doing) for them, and what I will and will not be drafting for them. There is a Yes/No checklist with which I make sure that my clients know what I will be doing for them and what my expectations are from them. In that agreement, I also have the fee agreement where it states what my fee is, how much they have to pay, and when. All of that is made clear in that agreement. It’s very important to know what the agreement is with the attorney and what is the fee structure. Its also important for the attorney to be professional and they should also know about the unique issues of domestic violence. The laws of domestic violence interact with the laws of general family law— if the attorney does not know how the laws interact with each other, they can miss an opportunity so it’s important for the attorney to know how these two laws interact with each other. For example: If their client has already got a restraining order, they should know how this would impact their general family law case. Other than that, it is also important to know that the attorney’s time costs money so if we have to write an email, then instead of sending 10 emails we should maybe consolidate it to 1 email with all the issues—that might be easier and effective. If it’s not a legal question, it’s better if we can ask our support system instead. For example, if it’s a Maitri client and the question is where do I go for job search, it’s not necessarily an attorney question and it will cost the client as the attorney charges by the hour; so it’s better to ask Maitri that question rather than asking your attorney. If the client is not sure about which questions to ask their attorney, they should check with their case worker, something like “should I ask my attorney or can you answer?” rather than the other way around.

NJ: I’m sure there are many such agreements that are not clear to the client. If that’s the case, I encourage them to ask the attorney for clarity and the meaning of what is written in the agreement. What is the scope of what is written? What will they do or not do for the client? Don’t be afraid to ask. Before signing the agreement with an attorney, one should be 100% sure what the attorney will and will not do for them. It’s also important to be very professional and to treat it as a professional relationship because the attorney is fighting your legal fight and not fighting a friendly fight. The attorney is not there to say that I will fight with your ex or say this and that to your ex. They are there to tell you legally speaking what can we do in your case. Its important to remember that though attorneys can be friendly, they are not necessarily your friend. They are your legal ally and you can’t seek them for emotional support. It’s important to get emotional support but reach out to agencies who specialize in it; for example: Maitri.

NJ: Speaking of domestic violence issue, it’s important to know that whoever your attorney may be, he or she should have worked with domestic violence cases and should know how to present the victims and what are the issues and how would the domestic violence laws impact other family court laws. It’s important to find an attorney who has specifically worked with victims of domestic violence and trusts your words so you can be assured that he/she is listening to you and feels for what you went through. If you don’t have that connection, then its hard to be honest with the attorney. And, if you don’t have the connection and the trust, then it’s hard for the attorney to represent you and it’s hard for you to trust your attorney.

NJ: A lot of attorneys have their websites where we can get information, or we can call the Bar Association and ask what the specialty of a particular attorney is. Or if someone has provided is a referral, ask them their experience with their attorney. There are many different ways of finding out if attorneys have worked with domestic violence cases earlier or not. I would encourage to use all tools possible to find out if a particular attorney has worked with a domestic violence or not and how were their work ethics.

NJ: On Yelp, you can write reviews and read what others are saying about these attorneys. The other thing you can do is go to the Cal Bar website and read all the details about the attorney and their work. You can also search for an attorney there. The California bar website is actually very helpful.

NJ: I cannot talk specifically about clients, but I have seen lot of common themes. In our culture the definition of abuse is very different from the culture here in the United States. For example, here in the USA, verbal abuse and mental abuse is considered an abuse, but in our culture, we don’t consider it as an abuse. It’s important to know that this is also abuse. The other thing I have seen is that there are a lot of issues with immigration. People who come here and then are facing abuse feel isolated and feel that they have no family and no support system, so it’s important for agencies like Maitri to be involved with them or for them to be involved with such agencies. They should not feel alone or that they are the only ones facing this.

NJ: From what I have seen, immigration is a big issue. For instance, if the abuser is on H1 status and they bring the spouse on the H4 visa, then there is an immigration issue and the victim feels that if they report the abuse, there would be a visa issue and would have to return to home country. I feel it’s important to educate the abused that they have other immigration options if the abuser does not sponsor them. The other things that is unique to our culture is in our country so many languages are spoken that it’s impossible for one attorney to know all of them. (Language line are generally not free, but attorneys often have them.) It’s important to take a translator with you if the attorney does not speak your language so we funny understand the agreement before signing the contract (including everything that the attorney is offering to us and what they will not do.) It’s important to have a translator there who can help us understand. If the domestic violence is recent, people are often in trauma, and when you are in trauma it’s hard for you to understand that what is going on and it’s hard to retain information. In that case, it may not be a bad idea to ask your attorney if you can take the agreement at home and read it carefully to understand it better or to show it to your friend for feedback before deciding if you should sign it or not. Don’t be afraid to ask your attorney for more time on that.

NJ: Actually, yes! People have lot of wrong information regarding immigration. Here the laws are such that if you are facing domestic abuse, you do have immigration options. There is a visa called U Visa, which is for crime victims and domestic violence is one of the crimes which qualifies you for U Visa. So, a domestic violence Victim can apply for U Visa but the problem is that it takes a long time. There is another visa called VAWA. It stands for Violence Against Women Act. The requirements are different from U Visa, but this is also an option victim have if immigration status is stopping them from reporting abuse.

In the South Asian community, I know immigration is a big issue. In our community lot of people have migrated here including myself. Its important to keep in mind that family court law does not ask for the immigration status and doesn’t depend on it too much and you can still seek a Protective Order regardless of your immigration status. We should not be scared that how will it affect our immigration status or if the court asks for our status. It is difficult to get immigration status in family court.

NJ: So, this is something very common as custody order can be changed any time till the child does not turn 18. It is common that the abuser can use custody order as a threat against someone they are abusing. I would suggest in such cases, to reach out to your support system and take your advocate with you and to not go alone to court— take a friend and educate yourself on what are the laws FOR you and the laws AGAINST you. So, when you go to court someone cannot misguide you. Often, the abusers can also use the custody issue as a way to continue abusing; meaning, if you keep filing in court and make court trips so that is a control tactic which the abuser uses to control the victim. So, now they control through the kids. In that case, survivors can use domestic violence agencies to have an advocate go with them so they don’t feel alone. That is always helpful. It’s always helpful if when you go to court, you have as much information as possible about that what will happen on that day in court. It’s important to know about the laws, about the hearings and what’s going to happen. I think this helps so the person does not feel that they are unaware when they go to court; they have knowledge. With custody and visitation, the court believes that the child has a right to see both the parents and that it’s in the best interest of the child to see both the parents, unless there is a safety or abuse concern, then the court will order a supervised visitation or limited visitation order. Generally speaking, each parent will get to see their child and a schedule is made on which days which parent can meet, what kind of visitation and custody things like that but generally the judge will order that both parents can see their child because that’s considered in the best interest of the child. I know one can feel that I should have all the custody and the other side should not get any visitation or custody, but here generally such orders do no happen. Here, both parents can meet their child, share visitation and custody.

NJ: That’s true! That’s one of the big differences between laws in India and here in the US. In India, the default is the mother gets the custody but generally here the default is not the same. But one thing is: here that if a person is found to be abusive, the presumption is that they will not get custody, but will get visitation. This doesn’t mean that they can never get custody—unless the court feel that the child is safe with them, they will get only visitation and there is a lot of supervised visitation ordered till then (where the parent who is visiting the child is supervised by someone during the visit.)

NJ: No, everyone does not need to hire an attorney. In our Santa Clara county, we are lucky to have lot of resources. In family courthouse, there is a self-help center where all the papers are available to file a divorce, modify custody order or to get a restraining order. They are also attorneys who are available there who can help, but they cannot give legal advice. They will help with filling out the forms and guiding where to file and such other information. In our county, we have three Family Justice Centers (which are different from the Family Justice Center Court House.) Family Justice Center Court House is the one on North 1st Street, San Jose. But there are three standalone Family Justice Centers—one takes place on Wednesday, one on Thursday and one on Friday. All three are from 9-5pm and are on walk-in basis. One can go there and talk to a Family Law attorney, Immigration attorney, there are people from DA’s office, victim services, legal advocates there and other resources and all are free. The one on Wednesday, I think is in Morgan Hill, the one on Thursday is in San Jose and the one on Friday is in Sunnyvale. All this information is available online about the family justice center on the DA’s office website and the court website has info on all the agencies and the referrals. The courts website is scscourt.org. One can visit there and get all the information. So, you don’t necessarily need an attorney—people can use these agencies and resources to get more information. One can find out what the court process is and what to expect, what the judge will ask and how to answer them or how to dress for court. So, you can go to any of those referrals and get the information. If your case is straightforward, I don’t think you need an attorney.

NJ: It’s hard to give an approximation because different attorneys have different charges. Some charge by the hour while others have a flat rate. If the case is complicated which involves either kids or property, then it might cost more. If no kids or property is involved, then the case is much easier and can be over quickly. The cost really depends on the case and that’s why it’s important that the agreement which we sign is clear that how will the attorney bill us and at what rate.

NJ: Yes, a lot depends on the attorney. Another way to keep a handle on the cost is that’s it’s important we ask our attorney either for a monthly billing statement or a 6-week billing statement. This way, we will know how much we are spending and what our budget is. It will also help narrow down the points one needs to fight for while keeping the cost in mind.

In the agreement, it should also be stated what are the costs for the paralegal or receptionist, if we are using their services. It should be very clear in the agreement what their charges are. For example, if we are working with a firm with 2-3 different attorneys and they each might have different rates, it should be very clear in the agreement what the rates are for each attorney we are working with. The thing about cost is that the cost of a legal case can be as high as you want it to be. One should know what one’s pocketbook is and how much they can afford. They should also know if what they are fighting for is worth fighting for. That’s where your attorney not being your friend helps as he/she will not be emotionally attached the way we are. If your attorney tells you that something is not worth fighting for, and the spending is not worth it, it’s important to think that through with a clear head. Instead of fighting for everything, we can choose what we fight for and let go of the rest especially if we don’t want the cost to climb up too much. All these things depend on case by case basis— I cannot tell my client what to worry or not worry for. It’s important for us to think about those things and about what’s really important to us and what are we willing to fight for and spend money fighting for, and then move forward with that in mind.

NJ: You can always substitute your attorney out. If you feel your attorney is not working with you to meet your goals, you can always substitute them out. You can file for Substitute of Attorney. Let the attorney know that our agreement is not working out and I want to part ways. Its very important to file for Substitute of Attorney if you don’t want to work with them, because when an attorney takes a case and it is filed in court, the court get to know who the attorney is for that particular client. Until the court is told that the attorney is no longer working on this case, you cannot file your paperwork yourself. The court will require the listed attorney to file the papers and be present. It’s important that as soon as you know that the particular attorney will not work for you, you must file for Substitute of Attorney.

NJ: No, It’s fairly straightforward. It’s a 2-page form where you mention the name of the previous attorney and now you are either representing yourself or have a new attorney.

NJ: They can always call the Bar Association. In Santa Clara County, they can call the Santa Clara County Bar Association and say that the attorney did not do a good job or did not do what the agreement said. It’s important to hold attorneys accountable. You can also go online and write reviews on yelp and google. The benefit of going to State Bar website is if there were any previous disciplinary actions against the attorney, everyone can see it.

NJ: Red flags is actually a very good point. A lot of things could feel wrong and if we feel they are red flags, we should think twice before hiring the attorney. Some of the red flags are:

 If they are not explaining the agreement in detail, that is generally a red flag. Don’t be afraid to clearly ask an attorney about all that is listed in the agreement, all will they do for us and what do they expect from us. If they dont explain this, then it’s a potential red flag.

 If the attorney is not giving the complete information to the client, then that’s also a red flag.

 If the client is not treated with respect that’s also a red flag.

 If you are not given a copy of your document and have to fight for your copies, then generally its not a good indicator.

 If the attorney is not giving you information about what the other side is proposing and negotiating with them without discussing with you. You should be involved in every aspect of the case. It’s true that the attorney knows more about the legal system and how a particular judge tends to rule, so it’s true that the attorney will lead the legal process but you also have to feel that you are also very involved in the entire process, that your input is taken, and you know what the next stage is.

 The biggest red flag is that if you feel that your attorney is abusive to you, is disrespecting you and/or is not listening to you. But it’s also important to keep in mind that your attorney is not your therapist and if they say that a particular question is more for your therapist and is not a legal question, that’s one thing. But if you feel your attorney is not respecting you that’s a different thing.

NJ: Exactly!

 But the biggest red flag for me is when an attorney guarantees a result. If you talk to any attorney regarding any issue and not just domestic violence and they are saying they can guarantee a result, that is a pretty big red flag. Ultimately, it’s not up to the attorney but it’s up to the judge to decide how a case goes, unless you are going to negotiate with the other party and come to an agreement. If your case goes to the judge, no attorney can guarantee what the judge will decide and sign.

 Another red flag is when you do background check on the attorney and they are not licensed to practice in the state you are in. For example, in California the attorneys must be licensed to practice CA state laws. It’s a red flag if the attorney you are talking to is not licensed. This means he/she might give the case to a different attorney and you may not work with the attorney that you are thinking you are working with. Make sure your attorney is licensed in the State of California and have worked with domestic violence cases as there are safety issues which are unique to domestic violence.

Most attorneys think it’s not important to take a protective order but in domestic violence if safety is a concern, then its very important to get a protective order, in my view. So, the attorneys must know the unique issues of domestic violence and why its important to get a protective order.

NJ: Domestic violence is one of the most dangerous things that people face. Its largely a women’s issue but it’s not just a women’s issue. There are men who are domestic violence survivors/victims. Domestic violence is not just a family matter, it’s a dangerous issue. It’s the no. 1 killer for women. Most of the times, the people who kill women are the people who live with them. It’s not something to be taken lightly and the trauma of it is long term. In our culture we think if there’s no beating then it’s not domestic violence, but being abusive with words is also part of domestic violence and the impact is long term not just on us, but on our kids and even our family. It’s important to keep all that in mind when we are facing legal issues related to domestic violence. Domestic violence is not a family issue, it’s a long-term community issue and in our culture, I think, it’s a social issue. We have to all take a stand against domestic violence, be it any kind -verbal, emotional or mental. It is not okay and will not be accepted.

NJ: We are very lucky in the Bay Area that we have lot of resources for domestic violence victims. Maitri is a great resource where people can call the hotline, there are therapy groups, they can talk to a legal advocate or an advocate in general. There are many agencies that do a lot of similar work. YWCA, Community Solutions, Asian American for Community Involvement, AACI, Next Door do similar work. They are also the Family Justice Centers which I had mentioned earlier that work with the District Attorney’s office and provide free services They have immigration attorney, family law attorney, an attorney from the DA’s office, victim services, and then there is the National Hotline where you can call at 1 -800-799-7233. They have a website www.thehotonline.org. You can find lot of resources there including what is domestic violence and what healthy relationship looks like. It’s a good resource to go through if you are wondering that what you are going through is indeed domestic violence. There are a lot of law firms in the Santa Clara county where you can get free legal advice. They are Bay Area Legal Aid, Pro Bono Project, Law Foundation, Legal Aid Society of the Santa Clara County. You can call them up for legal advice but not get representation.

 Before you meet any lawyers, so some “comparison shopping.” Make a list of several lawyers. Call each lawyer and ask questions that might help you make your decision. (Some lawyers may prefer to meet with you briefly in person.)

 Ask about the lawyer’s experience and when he or she last handled a similar case. Ask if he or she will meet with you once, free of charge, before you make your hiring decision. If there is a fee for such consultation, find out how much it will be. In any case, do not expect a long first meeting; 15-minutes to a half-hour is average.

 Write down everything the lawyers have to say. Take time to think it over. Then make another appointment with the lawyer that seems right for you.

 It depends on how you feel after your first meeting with the lawyer. Before the meeting, jot down key points in your case to share with the lawyer. Bring the names, addresses and telephone numbers of everyone connected with the case. In addition, bring all the papers related to the case. Some lawyers may want to review the papers before your meeting.

 Ask about any similar cases that the lawyer has handled. And keep in mind that age may have nothing to do with the lawyer’s ability to help you. A lawyer who has practiced 20 years may have less experience with your type of problem than a lawyer who is three years out of law school.

 In addition, find out if the lawyer will handle your case personally. If the lawyer intends to have another member of the law firm handle any part of the case, you might want to talk to the second lawyer as well.

 Be wary of any attorney who guarantees results. Most lawsuits and other legal work are not “sure things.” However, a lawyer should be able to point out strengths and weaknesses of your case.

 Find out how long the lawyer expects your case to take, what steps will be involved, and what and how you will be charged. If you don’t understand something, ask for a simpler explanation.

 In addition, you can check the State Bar’s website (www.calbar.ca.gov) to find out if the lawyer has ever been publically disciplined by the bar. Simply go to Attorney Search and Attorney/Member Search, then type in the attorney’s name or bar number.

 You may decide to hire the lawyer after your first meeting, or you may want some time to think about it. Ask yourself a few questions:

o Will you be comfortable working closely with the lawyer?

o Do you think the lawyer has the experience and skill to handle your case?

o Do you understand the lawyer’s explanation of what your case involves?

o Does the fee seem reasonable?

 If your answer to one or more of these questions is “no,” you probably should talk to another lawyer. If all of your answers are “yes,” you may have found the right lawyer for you.

You could make sure that:

 You and your lawyer have the same goals.

 You understand and are comfortable with the lawyer’s working style. Get a clear picture of the expected timetable in your case—when you can expect significant developments, and when and how often the lawyer intends to contact you.

 You provide the lawyer with the information and documents necessary to understand your case.

 You understand and agree with the lawyer’s billing practices.

 If you have questions or concerns about your legal matter, you express them to the lawyer and listen to her/his responses.

 You raise questions about your bill in a timely manner. If appropriate, submit your questions to the lawyer in writing.

These simple tips should help you develop a positive, productive working relationship with your lawyer.