TS: I would say bullying is not how you see it in movies. It's not up front to people's faces, but at the same time, it is very widespread. Especially on social media and online, there's a lot of cyberbullying that we see. Also, I do think it starts in middle school; I would say in middle school, it's a lot more direct. So for example, in my middle school, there was a special ed student who loved to dance during lunch and a lot of students would like jokingly cheer him on and take pictures, and it was just really rude. In high school, it's not that upfront. Bullying is more behind people's backs and on social media. At my high school, a student made an anonymous confessions page on Instagram and someone openly said that they didn't like a certain student. So it was just a clear attack at that student. But relating to this incident, a lot of supportive students in the comments urge the account to take the post down, which also shows that peers can help prevent bullying in some ways.

AM: Um, I feel like in terms of cyber bullying, the specific ones that I have seen are more on like how many people create their own spam account, and that's usually on Instagram. So usually, people have a main account and they have their spam account and in the spam account, most people that I know use it for putting pictures and stuff like that- just friendly stuff no bullying intended, but like a small amount of people use it to trash other people by just calling them out and stuff because they know that in their spam account, there's only a small group of people that follow them and it won't really reach out to like the whole school in general because it's private. And I feel like the spam accounts are a pretty big reason of how I saw cyber bullying being really like prevalent nowadays because in terms of like confessions pages and stuff, like I've seen that in like my old high school, but it was more positive. So that's why I feel more on the spam accounts issue.

TS: I think at our school, there's a lot of problems with slut shaming. So on social media, like if a girl posts a picture that she feels that she's confident and a lot of people will comment and say degrading things like she's like searching for attention, or just make her feel bad about Something that she initially felt good about. So that's a big problem as well. And I don't think people know that it's hurting like the people who post, I don't know if they know it's hurting their feelings. They might say things as a joke, but they don't really know how it affects people.

TS: I definitely agree. I think there's also an element of jealousy to it. A lot of the people that are bullied are people who express themselves and are different from the norm, usually. So I think there's an element of jealousy in the people who bully, that the fact that the people they're bullying can be so open about the way they express themselves.

AM: I feel like the insecurities and jealousy are basic roots for bullying. It's also probably mob mentality when one person bashes on another person and it depends how close they are, like a group of people start to like adopt that mentality and they just all bash that same person for no reason. But I feel like that all can stem from jealousy and insecurities as well.

KL: I can definitely say that the mob mentality is how it happened at my school… for me and for the other students who were bullied, it was that there was one girl who was essentially the main perpetrator, but because she was the one with all the power everyone essentially banded with her, and they all just followed her and they all just did what she wanted. So I think all three of those kind of just create the powerful triad of what powers bullies.

AM: Yeah, honestly, I feel like that is right. It's on point.

TS: Yeah, I definitely agree. It's hard to tell. I feel like the line of making jokes sometimes in bullying is very thin. And it's hard to know how people really feel about things that are said towards them. So I definitely agree that it's hard sometimes to see the line.

AM: I feel like that all depends on their environment and the way they grew up because sometimes it's hard for many children to have a tight bond with their dad or their mom and have that deep of a relationship where they can talk about their insecurities and how they're being bullied at school. But also, as a youth, it's in our minds that our parents have so much stress already. You don't want to add more stress regarding what's going on, this and that. Because, we see what our parents go through when they're going through work and stuff like that. And I feel in order for that to be fixed, it all depends on like an effort from both sides from the kid and the parent, of course that like, they want to have a deep and meaningful relationship that if the kid is facing something at school, they should feel open to talk to their own parents about it.

TS: I definitely agree. I think we just have to foster an environment, especially in our homes, where we can be more open about our problems or what we're going through. I know a lot of us might go home and then our parents asked, “oh, how was your day” and you just say, “Fine,” and then you go back into your room, but I think, I totally agree. I think it needs to be on both sides. We have to be talking about how we're feeling more. I think that's really important to, you know, solve our problems that we might be having.

KL: I want to talk more on the reporting to school side of things. I reported with a group of other people who had been bullying to two different schools, because I went to a different elementary and different middle school and I was bullied in both. And I reported to both schools about my bullying and nothing was done in either school. In my elementary school the bully was in the room, we had a conversation of sorts, where the bully essentially manipulated the conversation and blamed the bullying on a person who was not in the room. So she essentially manipulated the teacher into believing that someone else was the perpetrator. But in the middle school conversation, me and a couple of other victims of bullying went into a conversation with a teacher who essentially did not take us seriously despite the fact that we were crying, and we were obviously distraught. And her advice was just for us to kill them with kindness, and she basically just kicked us out of her office. And I have known many other friends from different schools who have told their schools, who have gone to their principals or their teachers, and who have reported bullying and who have just not been taken seriously. So, I think that is why so much of bullying goes unreported because in the cases where people try and when people do try to speak up, they're not taken seriously. So they lose hope.

TS: Yeah... I think it can just be a normalized thing. It can just be a routine assembly, like it really has to be internalized in both like the teachers and the students. That needs to be something that's prevented.

KL: I think those presentations are more to cover the schools for legal reasons and such, less to actually protect the students. That's more like if bullying happens, we're not legally responsible because we gave this presentation, it's not because anyone in the school- the teachers or the administration genuinely cares for the students well-being.

AM: I feel like from my high school perspective that my school actually did at least an okay job or a great job, I'd say in talking about bullying, but even when there were presentations at certain class periods, yeah, there were students who really didn't care as much about what was going on, because they're like, ‘Oh, we hear about this all the time.’ But it's just that whenever we heard about stories about people getting punished for bullying, whether it be suspensions or possibly explosions, I think that's when it hit kids in my school the hardest that ‘wow, this is something serious. And we should really stop and maybe change our habits and stuff.’ But I feel in order to even set an example to high school students or middle school students, it's the punishment that the district can make about bullying which would give fear to those students to not bully others.

TS: Personally, I think these assemblies and things should have started in elementary school because I feel like there's still a lot of mean students that don't have empathy for others in some cases, but I feel like students in elementary school are more receptive and generally can absorb more good messages in elementary school and, I think that would carry on through middle school and in high school, rather than just having assemblies in middle school and high school when students are already having like tendencies of other students.

KL: I definitely agree that if these started at a younger age, it’d probably be more beneficial. I also think that maybe we should like start examining the reasons why students bully, and have more preventative measures to stop students from bullying, have more counseling services available for students, and take more measures to protect students’ mental health and protect their social lives instead of just caring about their academic lives. Because as long as we're just doing that we're not caring about the students as a whole being.

AM: I feel like for that it's easier to spot maybe in like middle school or elementary school when kids seem sad from their face or stuff in general, because in high school, a lot of my friends who were bullied used to mask it off with like a happy face and stuff like that. And, it's kind of hard to really find someone who's genuinely like, who from a physical appearance, you're going to see that like,’ Oh, he's actually being bullied or he's really sad or depressed’, because most students really keep it to themselves. And I feel it's also that the students can also get the courage to hopefully open up to a trusted adult, which is really hard. But I feel that's also a step in which we can really ask students, we can really talk to trusted adults. But I would say that it depends on how you read other people. But it's definitely easier for counselors and teachers to notice an element in elementary and middle school that like, ‘Oh, this kid is being bullied and he's really sad every day when it comes to school.’

TS: I think in our society we generally have a stigma around mental health and sharing our feelings. So… related to what you were saying, we have to kind of break down that barriers because a lot of people are afraid to share how they really feel, especially in high school people keep their emotions bottled up a lot, and relating to your question I think cyberbullying can be alleviated better when peers interfere because I feel a lot of adults don’t have access to social media so if peers can police each other- I think that’s a really good thing. if we can encourage being positive on social media just within our communities, I think that’s also really important.

KL: I definitely agree with a lot of what Tanvi said. I feel like especially with the mental health stigma part, in society we are expected to always seem happy and to not show or showcase that we are in pain or are experiencing sadness and we are always expected to look happy or okay... so it’s hard. Even in middle school, I feel that even people at that young of an age feel pressure to seem “okay” so I think it’s hard for people to see the signs of being bullied. I feel if you look hard enough you can see it... I think that even when people are suffering to some extent they are screaming out for help but you have to look closely enough to see it… and it’s a hard dichotomy to balance. so I don’t really know if there’s an easy solution to it.

AM: I feel like for that it is a difficult task but what you can notice is probably the people they hang out with at the end of the day. Whenever they are hanging out at their own house or other peoples house, and you see how their friends really are, if you can basically get a gist of how they are talking about other people or stuff like that. Because I know this goes back to mob mentality, but bullying also can stem from the people you surround yourself with. So if you are able to see your child’s friends group and see it’s not really healthy for them, maybe you should actually talk to them about it or call them out on it because that’s when you can really see their behavior in school, with that friend group, and you can see if they are actually bullying other people or if they’re facing other issues.

KL: I think that’s really hard. I knew my perpetrator’s mom very well, and I was almost friends with my perpetrator’s mom. I knew her extremely well and she would have no idea that her daughter was a bully. She would have not known at all. And, I feel like maybe my situation would have been harder to explain but really her daughter was not just a bully, but abusive. And, the signs of abuse are even harder to explore but I think that maybe looking not just at the people they surround themselves with, but also looking at how those people are acting- what’s their body language? do they seem okay? do they seem safe? Do they seem comfortable? Because I wasn’t okay when I was around. I was scared. So, look at that!

AM: most of my friends, after they graduated high school, they stopped using social media itself because when you are on social media- yeah, there’s pros like you keep in contact with all your friends- but the cons are also like you’re gonna be subjected to cyber bullying. Maybe it’s like being not as active on social media, but it’s also along that line...

AM: it is definitely hard Now days with like TikTok, SnapChat, and whatever social media that exists. I feel like, personally I keep Facebook more for like club stuff or any events, and at end of the day it’s all a mental game. If you want social media to really control your life, then you can let it control your life, by like posting a lot on Instagram, snapchat and stuff like that. But if you really don’t want it to control your life, you can also control them and still live your life because social media is really popular now days but its not like the only thing in the world, too.

TS: Yeah, social media can be a really toxic place, especially for kids growing up. We just have unrealistic expectations because of social media so I think you can definitely either let social media go or a big thing is just unfollowing people that you feel like they bring negative energy towards you or there’s report features or I think the most important thing is to tell trusted people in your life about certain issues that you are feeling so teachers, peers, parents… I think that’s the most important thing.

KL: I know social media has a lot of cons but also I have a YouTube channel so in a lot of ways I am pro social media. I have seen a lot of the benefits of it as well. Like, a lot of people that I have met on social media, they grew up in houses where they didn’t belong, maybe they were in the LGBTQ+ community or they had mental illness and their families weren’t accepting, so in social media they found homes they found friends with whom they belonged and so for them it was really like a safe space. So, I have seen pros in it in that way. For me, I think it’s really about creating your space and I speak out about this stuff on social media- a lot of my channel is about representation so I deal with people who are going to send hate no matter what. Like, I have to deal with those conversations no matter what. I am never going to be free of that and I just have to be ready for that. You have to mentally prepare for whatever you are putting on social media. And you have to curate your space because while I know I am going to have to deal with that I also know I have so many people in my corner who are gonna jump up to defend me whenever those people come.

AM: I also wanted to just add on to for anyone who is going through this that, it’s hard but at the end of the day you’ll need the courage to speak up if you want something to change, because even when you’re going through this stuff it’s definitely traumatizing and very difficult and it takes time to open up, but in order to make… you can like get over it by yourself but it’s easier when you have a supportive group with you and in order to do that you really need to speak up, have courage to speak up against it.

AM: I am really hopeful about it because each group is like, each generation I’d say is really changing and there’s more talk about topics like these nowadays in our society and yeah I think social media can be used for positive purposes and it already is, whether it be for like school and gun laws, and other social issues in our country, but I feel like I am personally very hopeful and I know it will take time in generations to come to really fix this issue but I am pretty optimistic about it.

TS: yeah I am pretty optimistic as well, I think. I hope that our generation is more open and we care more about certain issues that were left behind in generations past. And relating to social media, I think it can be a really good place to end bullying. Like I used an example in the beginning- high school student made an anonymous confessions page and someone bullied another student on that confessions page, but after that incident a lot of students commented saying, “please take down this post.” So I think that’s a really powerful message that there’s a lot more students that want to prevent bullying and want to spread positivity so I am really hopeful.

KL: I am a bad person to end on… I am a trauma survivor who lives with mental illnesses, I can be very jaded at times. But I cycle back and forth; sometimes I feel very hopeless, and sometimes very hopeful, but I see the people who are trying and I see the people who are putting in all their effort to make change and they do give me hop, they do make me feel like it will take time and it will not happen in the next 10 years but it will happen one day.